So why start a blog? I already have a growing Youtube channel... And why now?? It's kind of a random time to start. (In reality most blogs are probably started randomly...so...)
Well - the fact of the matter is that this week I have been the sickest I have been for the longest time. Although nothing serious - it certainly forced me to do the impossible. REST.... and think. Although it's not easy with four kids and a husband who works the hours of a shift worker - I have really prioritised rest - and as a result have had time to really explore what I'm doing with my time.
I have been working really hard, on everything, and really have only barely achieved what I would call mediocre results on each of them. That's the thing with trying to do "all the things" - you can't do anything well... you might keep your head above water - but there's no "job satisfaction" because the second one thing finishes you're straight on to the next one. At least that's been my experience.
I just feel like I'm exisiting between appointments, and deadlines and other people's schedules. On one hand my time is my own and "super flexible" but on the other I cannot do anything I want, when I want - I have to wait for it to be agreeable to the five other people in this house, our extended family and friends, schools, employers, doctors, professionals - heck even making a call to update insurance details can take a whole day!
And the thing that then happens is that I'm so burnt out that I really don't "feel like" doing anything for myself if I've scored a minute. I don't prioritise my needs in the down time - I just zone out... until the next demand from the external.
Now - don't get me wrong... I totally waste time - there are some days where I *know* I've scrolled through social media way more than I should have for someone who is supposedly "so busy"... but in my defence, I'm so used to being constantly called upon, that I don't even realise time passing - if no one has called on me and I might have scored a full hour to myself (and then wasted it mindlessly!?).
I'm also not complaining.. I love my family and my life. I feel incredibly blessed to be a stay at home mum. My husband works hard, long hours, for an average pay. But, the benefits and privilege of being home with my kids is not lost on me. Nope... the fact is - I just need to find a way that works better for us all... and that's what my journey is about. Finding balance and order in my home, heart, body and soul... and this blog is an extension to that journey. Another place for me to express myself - quietly. Without having to necessarily brush my hair or find the best lighting. In words. For me. So if you're interested in the musings of a mum on a mission to get organised - for the love of it... then this one is for you.