Over the years - during the rare showers uninterrupted (the lack of interruption was rare - not so much the showers…although……), or the late night moments of occasional silence, the random stroll from the car to the grocery store I began reflecting on who I am. Who did I want to be? I thought I wanted to be Martha Stewart meets Mrs Brady meets Jane Fonda meets Oprah. (Yes I know I’m showing my age with the Jane Fonda thing - and actually she is “a little” before my time but she’s iconic right?) Basically I wanted to be this amazing homemaker - with labeled containers, organised and clear and always clean. I was to be an attentive responsive, fun mum who is fit, healthy, attractive and be this sensationally enlightened and wise woman. I wanted to be EVERYONE… but see that - I compared myself to other people. What is wrong with being me? Why not be Mel - who has worked out a system in her home that works for her family so that everyone feels valued and cared for, while creating lifelong memories and enjoying special moments together and taking care of myself with kindness while pursuing interests that provide purpose and focus in my life….why not?? Totally possible. Totally what I’m going to do. I’m a mum on a mission!
I need to figure out stuff in my HOME, while taking care of my HEART, and looking after my physical BODY and exploring what makes my SOUL sing.
Over time I’ve learnt that if my house is messy - then my mind is messy. I’ve denied this about myself for the longest time. In fact for a long time I didn’t even see the correlation. I thought they were two seperate things. However, through long and careful self scrutiny - let’s face it - I was harsh on myself - I wasn’t reflecting… I was SCRUTINISING - I have come to see it for my truth. If I feel overwhelmed, taken for granted, forgotten, over worked, under cared for then my house is a direct reflection of that. The house is a mess so I can’t invite people over. I can’t go out and “have fun” if my house is a mess. I cant pursue a personal interest or exercise if I can’t even keep my home “sorted”. This was the story I told myself. It was so ingrained I don’t even know when it started or where it came from. Just a weird self-imposed rule. Additional to that came the story of being inadequate and a failure as a home maker, mum, wife, woman. “All the other mums can do it - what’s wrong with me?” I compare myself to everyone! People from my childhood to people on tv - there was no limit on who I compare myself to.
Mountains of washing pile up because I effectively “forget” - dishes are never fully done. My though process is “why make my bed if I’m only only getting back into it?” I toss everything into the master bedroom and close the door so no one will see in there. I slap something together for dinner or simply utilise the “emergency” frozen sausage rolls and pies. Better still - I whip up to Macca’s and grab a family box. Dinner is served.
Then step in parenting and relationships. The less I keep on top of my home - the less I feel connected with those around me. If I have a burst of energy and have the house in order - then God forbid one of my kids (or my husband) leave a cup where they sat… then being outnumbered five to one (including my husband) I can’t keep on top of each individual mess and so it quickly gets out of control and I lose motivation to do it again any time soon. Plus because I have no systems or habits in place I really don’t know how to keep on top of it - let alone incorporate or instil rules for the rest of the family to abide by. Plus the perfectionist in me steps up then and they “don’t do it right” (like literally right now - as I type this - my husband is picking up toys and ranting and raving about not knowing where they go… because there’s too many!?) So in short - my resentment towards my family grows and having an untidy space, no connection with my family and generally feeling like I am failing has me withdraw from social situations. Psyching myself up to catch up with my closest friends becomes a challenge - let alone the mums at the school gate who just wanted to say “hi”…
On top of that I am physically feeling hopeless… over weight, unfit, generally lethargic and basically your regular personification of the term “hot mess”. I bite my nails until they bleed - I own 15 cans of dry shampoo to hide the fact that I never take the time to wash my hair - let alone get to a hairdresser - I wear ill fitted hand-me-down clothes and shoes and the closest thing to regular exercise I get is walking to the letter box on the rare occasion the postie drops something in there. That is me. Or at least - that is who I am for the now - I wont be for long. I’m ready to make changes!
And what about finding out what makes my soul sing? What gives me purpose and focus and meaning to my life? The other things around I can change. My home can be sorted, my children will grow, my appearance and body can be controlled too… but what about that inner me.. the person who is with me regardless of the external changes I make? Some might find strength in their faith, in God or the Universe - but who am I in that space? What do I enjoy and what do I want to achieve for myself in this life?
To be fair I’ve been working on a lot of these things - and my soul and really improving on myself for literally years - but finding a succinct and clear way to share it with you, and hopefully help the inner “hot mess” that you’re harbouring is what will make my soul sing. So I’m a little ahead of the game in some areas. I know that helping others, breaking down isolation barriers and connecting with like minded mums on a mission to improve themselves is my true calling. I just needed to figure out how… So that’s what the next seven weeks is about. As the madness of the season descends upon us - before the new year kicks in - I invite you to come along a journey with me to improve the state of our homes, our relationships, our health and our overall wellbeing. Let’s forge this path together, create a community of mums on a mission to get sorted in our HOME, HEART, BODY & SOUL.
At the end of 7 weeks I will
- have a tidier, less cluttered, more organised home…
- Feel more connected with your family and friends…
- Increase your activity levels, care for yourself more and generally feel better about yourself
- You might even begin to explore a hobby or activity that makes your soul sing - we can work on that more later if you like.
- The purpose of me sharing this journey is to hopefully inspire and encourage you to find more balance and order in your life along with me.
- If possible consider joining my facebook group and following my other social media (scroll down) so I can keep you updated on potential schedule changes. I also have a mailing list if you’d like to sign up for that.
- The outcome of this challenge is entirely up to you.
- This is not a one-and-done activity. This is as much a journey as a step-by-step guide. It won't be perfect. You will stumble. As will I.
- You wont follow the path to the letter and achieve miracles within your home or life…. Unless you choose to….
- I’m in this with you. You can go back and start with me or just jump in where you are.
- This content comes from years of trialing other programs, step-by-step guides, books. blogs, challenges. I’ve picked out what I feel is working for me…. Some of it may feel familiar if you too have been on this journey long enough.
- I am not a professional. I am just doing my best and sharing my journey in the hopes that it inspires you.
- You can achieve anything and you are not alone.
- Your suggestions, words of wisdom, encouragement, feedback and support is welcomed and I’m honoured you’re here with me.
- If you’re not feeling aligned with what I’m sharing and you feel negatively and critical then I encourage you and respectfully ask that you move on. You deserve to feel heard - but no one deserves to feel judged.
Each week I will focus on the four focus areas. Mondays will set the week up in terms of the week’s plans and what to expect. Tuesdays will have a HOME focus - a speed clean - or regular cleaning motivation video, Wednesdays will have a BODY focus - concentrating on different areas of physical wellness, Thursdays will be another HOME focus day with a declutter or deep clean, Fridays will have a HEART focus concentrating on a family activity or event. It could be just a vlog or memory moment. It could have the kids taking over. It could just be talking about routines or things that are happening in our family. I will continue my SOUL Sunday series and they’ll be a brief reflection of the week. I might look at making it a live at lease once or questions and answers another time. There will be a monthly reflection around the end of October as usual.
Each topic will have a video on my channel and all going well a post here- but to be honest and realistic - the post may just be “check out my channel”. This is an intense journey I have planned for the next seven weeks. Wish me luck.